EMPTY NEST

The empty nest is painful, but it gives you a great perspectives on parenting.
Several year ago, my eldest son, Along, went off to Germany to further his studies.  Then, after a few years, my second son, Angah, set his foot in one of the local universities.  A few months ago, my only daughter, Nena, followed Angah leaving my youngest son, Harith, my husband and I.

I remember, their final days at home were filled with hustle and bustle of packing and getting them ready for a new life. I, of cause the one that worried the most, but somehow, I missed the burden of feelings of that moments.

But then as we were driving them to the airport or their respective colleges, an unexpected wave of grief swept me.  I thought I couldn't stand to them to see them go.  It was not that I wanted to hold them in childhood or to exercise control on their lives.  No, it just that I mourned the end of an era, a precious time of my life when Along, Angah, Nena and Harith were young, and their voices noisily, irritating, filled the whole of our house and rang buzzing my ears wanting all sorts of thing.  An era of hectic moments, when I had to drove them to school, tuition centers and also happy moments 'shopping' and eating together.  

However, I could hide the tears as we hugged at their respective colleges and at airport.  If you're thinking that I'm hopelessly sentimental about my kids, you're right.  But I hope my experience has a message for those of you whose children are still underfoot.

The days that you've been given to care for your children are much briefer than you think.  Yes, its true, it's difficult and exhausting assignment, but I urge you to stay the course; finish the job.  When you stand where I am today, you'll know that you have performed the most important task a human being can undertake.

And it's worth everything it cost you to do the the job right.  Oh, by the way, if you happen to see my sons or daughter, ask them to call home, won't you?

Boosting your self-confidence

      One day while collecting the old newspaper to sell it to the old newspaperman, I found  an article by Trevor Gordan about boosting our self-confidence. I find that it is very useful and  maybe  we can take the good points and apply in our everyday life.

      Everyone of us wants to be happy. We want to feel great about ourselves. Well, to feel self-confident, we need to do thing that give us good reasons to feel optimistic and motivated about ourselves.  According to Gordan there are some painless ways to boost our confidence and self-esteem.

     Always connect with POSITIVE PEOPLE which I agree - 100%. Try to detach from Toxic people.  They are like "emotional vampire" - Gordan name it -who love to suck positive mindset right out of our skull. They include people who put us down, ridicule us, or incapacitate our dreams and aspirations.

   

    SMILE a lot. Its true ... according to research, a person emotionally feels the emotion he or she is acting at the moment. Meaning that, if we act cheerful, we feel cheerful. And smiling is the fastest way to act happy and confident.  Also, our smile is contagious. It makes people want to catch you. Isn't it smile is a type of sedakah. Furthermore, it keeps us look young. 

     CARE FOR PEOPLE/OBJECTS THAT MAKE US FEEL GOOD.  When we care for others, we, in effect, care for ourselves at the same time. Well...what goes around, comes around. Glorify people with P.D.A. (public displays of appreciation).  Shower people we like with thank-you notes, hugs, smiles and calls to thank them.  The most important thing is it must come from the heart - sincere- it helps us feel super.

     Whatever it is, I think the best way to feel self-confident is to do things that give us good reason to feel confident like neutralise our negative thinking, look for solutions more than for problems, and read good news, inspiring articles and books.